Monthly Archives: March 2007

A man for every job.

The odd thing about China is the number of people doing jobs that you didn’t think even existed. I suppose that’s the net result of a Communist country and a huge population. For example in the restaurant this evening you have a meet and greet girl on the door, a gentleman to show you the menu before you get though the door, a head waiter to take you to your table, a different waiter to take your drinks order, a […]

Hello, I’m only here for two weeks…

…but can I change your brainwashing? Now don’t take this the wrong way. I believe in personal liberty, freedom and the American flag. Actually scrap that last bit, please feel free to print it out on recycled paper and burn it, along with the flag. Despite outward appearances to the contrary China is a still a Communist country. Information is heavily controlled in all walks of life. Great swathes of the Internet are censored, prone to return mysterious Chinese versions […]

Tourist Tunnel.

So they’ve built a tunnel under the river to allow you to get to the other side. There’s one in Greenwich if memory serves me correctly. Fair enough. This being Shanghai they’ve turned it into an amusing lightshow to entertain the tourists. You have to pity the poor commuters who have to use it every day, especially if suffering a major hangover.

Chinglish #5


OK, just one more skyscraper before I go…

They just keep getting bigger and bigger… Let’s build another one here… ..and here. Small microdots, also known as people. There are some buildings in the smog somewhere honestly.

Tasteful eh?

Excuse the blurry photography, I didn’t have my tripod with me…or something. It’s strangely surreal eh? There’s even a boat cruising up and down the river with a full size Cinemascope screen on the back showing film trailers. How crazy is that?

Big pointy tower

Ooh, that’s tasteful and so small as well at 367 metres. Let’s go to the top of it. Token flag shot. The view is not bad. Like being in a plane. A fairly average seven story shopping Mall. We went to a ‘San Fransisco Steak House’ to eat – the cowboy hat fitted in with their dress code quite nicely.

Random day out

No, I don’t know what it is either. More attempts at looking cool. Well, thinner at least. Yes, everyone dresses like this in China. Ahem. Weird chairs. Cool. Rubbish to sit on I suspect. Ancient Chinese umbrella for catching the rain. Washing day? Today’s lunch looks slightly over-cooked. One of those Chinese gardens. ..complete with pagodas and bridges. Nothing like a cliche.

Shanghai – Hotel Astor

Blimey, the rooms here are BIG. Ours is a basic room and it weighs in at a hefty 40’x20′ Now all we need is a little girl on a bicycle and “The Shining”metaphor will be complete.

Tinglish #4

Do not drive fatigue – on a road signDo not used toilet train stabilised – train toilet doorPlease don't take the odds and ends put into the nightstool – Sign in a toiletQuestion Authorty – Sign Lhasa Bank of ChinaSafety Needing Attention! Be care of depending fire. Sweep away six injurious insect. Pay attention to civilisation. – Hotel lobby fire sign.Do not stroke the works – MuseumBe careful not to be stolen – Shopping Precinct