One more story before I go…

Enthused by our early morning foot massage we decided to try a five point body massage. Let it be said this is not an experience for the fainthearted, from under numerous layers of towelling Pat could be heard to mumble "Is this an act of sadomasochism?"

The process is this, you lie on your front, head sticking through a hole in the rack, err, massage table I mean, whilst a small woman with the strength of Hercules rams her elbow into various pressure points down you spine and legs. At some points I could feel all the nerve endings in my legs simultaneously light up. 'Perhaps this is what a heart attack feels like' I thought.

'Christ this must be good for you, if people pay money to willingly endure this'

The man manipulation continued for a further hour by which point I was about to leap from the table and run towards the exit half naked. Thank god, due to the lateness of the hour, we'd only plumped for the 60 minute massage rather than the 90.

Pat's sentiments? 'There was nothing pleasurable about that WHATSOEVER'

Potential travellers beware, if you want to relax at the end of a long day don't go for a five point body massage. I'd recommend a stiff Pim's instead.

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